


Love Potion No. 9

by femmedefoi



Series: Wolfstar Hogwarts Fics [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Humor, I know, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), They're right, but neither of them has said anything yet, but they're also loveable idiots, gone SO wrong, james and peter are just cackling in the background, james says hes an idiot, love potion, marauders hijinks, of course, remus is confused at why sirius keeps holding his hand, sirius and remus are in love with each other, sirius overcompensates for how much he thinks remus will react to a love potion, sirius thinks he can drug remus without consent, surprised me too, the marauders think they're hot shit, tldr peter is the moral compass here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29685933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femmedefoi/pseuds/femmedefoi
Summary: When Sirius spikes Remus' evening tea with the Marauder's recently perfected, new and improved version of amortentia, he gets stuck on babysitter duty all week. When Remus unknowingly drinks his spiked tea, he gets stuck with a babysitter all week.But why isn't Remus behaving abnormally? And why does Sirius keep coming up with excuses to hold Remus' hand?
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar Hogwarts Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181513
Comments: 1
Kudos: 44





	1. Sunday

**Author's Note:**

> Can't give a set schedule for when I'll update this, but in the midst of the looooong fic that I'm writing at the moment, I decided to take a break and write a shorter fic with a random OTP prompt*, and HERE WE ARE. 
> 
> This gives off BIG crackfic energy in my opinion, but I promise it's not meant to be a crackfic—just amusing.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> *Prompt chosen: “I slipped you a love potion but what the hell you’re not even acting any different”

**SUNDAY**

* * *

“You did _what?”_ James shouted at Sirius, startling the other boy off of his bed. 

“No need to yell, Prongs. Moony could come back any minute,” Sirius said with a wince as he rubbed his back from the impact. “Anyhow, why are you acting so surprised? You said we needed to test it on someone, isn’t it safer if one of us is the guinea pig?” He fluffed the pillows dramatically before climbing back onto the bed, earning an eye roll from James. 

“I didn’t think you were going to spike _Remus’_ drink—or at least not without consulting the rest of us first, you _prat!_ I’m pretty sure administering potions without consent is a criminal offense.” James crossed his arms, hoping that Sirius would have the decency to look slightly apologetic for his actions. No such luck. 

“We both know that’s not true, otherwise Healers wouldn’t be able to take care of unconscious patients,”

“But those are _medical professionals,_ Sirius, there’s a _difference—”_

Sirius cut James off with a wave of his hand. “And even _beyond_ that, we _all_ said that we’d be willing to test it out last week.”

James huffed. “Sure, but I think we _all_ thought that we were going to end up looping Marlene, or Dorcas, or Mary, or Lily, or someone _else_ in the friend group into this. I don’t think any of us actually expected to be on the receiving end of it.”

Sirius threw his hands up in exasperation. “What do you want me to say, James? I’ve already done it, and you saw Moony drink his whole cup of tea this morning as well as I did. There’s nothing either of us can do about it now.”

“That’s not true,” James said slowly, shaking his head and looking down at the bed sheets. When he met Sirius’ gaze, a devious expression was on his face, and Sirius was suddenly _very_ nervous about what the next words out of James’ mouth would be. 

“What do you mean?”

“How long does the potion last again?” James questioned, a dangerously amused look on his face.

“A week, but you brewed it, you know tha—”

James cut him off with a satisfied smirk. “That’s it then. You’ve got to stick around him all week.”

“I—What do you _—Why?”_ Sirius stammered out, not following his friend’s line of thinking.

“Based on the alterations we made, whoever drinks the potion is supposed to spend all week pining after the person who gave it to them, right?” Sirius nodded, and James continued.

“Which means Remus is likely to make some rather embarrassing attempts at flirting with you every day for a week.” Sirius swallowed, starting to see where his friend was going with this.

“Which will almost _definitely_ include him absolutely humiliating himself in front of our classmates, the professors, and the entire great hall if you aren’t there to tone the effects down a bit.”

“What, I’m supposed to tail him all week? Won’t he catch on and think something’s up?”

“Well it’s not perfect, obviously. But my guess is he’ll be too overwhelmed by the sudden feelings of _desire_ for you,” James fake gagged and Sirius shot him a glare, “to notice that you’re around more than usual. Plus, even with you there, he’s probably still going to try to seduce you, so you might want to try and play along, for his sake at least.”

 _“Play along?_ James you _know_ how I feel about Remus, that’ll be—”

“Hey, it was _your_ idea to make "Love Potion Number 9" a new and improved version of amortentia, not mine.” 

Sirius groaned. “So just to make sure I’ve got this, I’m supposed to basically stalk Remus all of this week to make sure he doesn’t embarrass the hell out of himself by proclaiming his undying love for me?”

James snorted at Sirius’ description but nodded in agreement. “I’d say tough luck, but...you kind of set yourself up for this.”

Sirius scowled before scooting to the edge of the bed and bracing his hands against the mattress. “D’you know where he is? The potion should be taking effect pretty soon, I should probably find him before that happens.”

James shrugged. “Take the map, it’s in my trunk.”

Nodding a quick thank-you at his friend, Sirius grabbed the map and whispered the password as he waited for the schematics of the castle to appear. The Library. _Of course._

“Looks like I’m off to hit the books then, catch you later,” he shot over his shoulder as he grabbed his book bag and headed off to find his friend.

——————————————————— 

Remus was having a very strange day. The full moon had been last week, and he was still a bit sore from the running around he’d done with his friends, so he’d tried to chalk it up to just being tired, but…He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was living out some sort of Murphy’s Law-inspired phenomenon. 

It had started this morning, when he’d awoken to Sirius and _Peter,_ of all people, chuckling behind the curtains of Sirius’ bedframe. As soon as he’d attempted to speak to them, however, Sirius had put up a powerful silencing charm, and he suddenly found himself unable to hear a peep. Then, when they’d gone to Hogsmeade for the day, all of the shops that he’d been looking forward to going to were closed for the day, out of the products he was looking for, or so crowded that he didn’t think he could make it to the till without stumbling over someone and getting hurt. 

He’d come away from the excursion with no chocolate, no books, and no trick wands for their prank next month—none of which individually would be grounds for high levels of moodiness, but when accompanied with the slushy snow that had made its way into his boots to soak his socks, his mood was positively _foul_ when he’d returned to the castle. While changing out of his wet clothing, he’d remembered that they had a Charms paper due the next day that he’d forgotten to write out and had cursed profusely before vowing to go to the library to work on it after dinner, hoping that at least the mealtime would be normal. 

But dinner was strange too, a fact that he was frustrated to discover. He was the last to show up, and despite the token of goodwill offered by Sirius in the form of a mug of tea, he wasn’t much in a mood to sit around and talk now that the Charms assignment was looming in the back of his mind. He tried to eat his food as quickly as possible, but kept getting distracted by Peter looking between him and Sirius curiously throughout the meal. When he finally went to leave, he picked up the mug and drained it in one long sip before making a funny face at the taste. Sirius was _shit_ at preparing his tea, apparently. Typical _._ He shook his head to move past the tea and gave a brief wave to the other boys before heading to the library.

He was about halfway through his research when Sirius entered and sat at the table with him. Remus glanced up absently and wrote a few more words before jerking his head up sharply to look at the boy across from him, who was now pulling out a textbook and some parchment. 

“What are you doing here?”

Sirius smiled at him, and if Remus thought there was something nervous about the expression, he didn’t mention it. “That’s no way to greet your best friend, is it? Same as you, I expect—Charms, right?”

Remus nodded, taken aback by Sirius’ presence, before switching his gaze over to his textbook. “Just, uh, I really need to get this done, so could you, uh, try not to distract me too much? I know that’s a lot to ask, but—”

Sirius laughed lightly at his friend’s flustered expression. “No worries, your wish is my command, Moonykins.” Remus glared at him, but the smile he wore rather ruined the effect. “Ah—thank you?”

“‘Course,” Sirius offered up, before sinking into the chair and pulling his textbook onto his lap to read. 

The two stayed there, diligently working on their assignments, until Madame Pince did her rounds at the end of the night and kicked them both out, and rather unceremoniously—in Sirius’ opinion at least—for two students who’d been practically silent the whole time they were there. As they made their way back to Gryffindor tower, Remus paused at the entrance to the Prefect’s bathroom and told Sirius to go on ahead, but the older boy refused. 

“Can I come?”

Remus gave Sirius a strange look. “You want to accompany me to the _toilet?”_

Sirius flushed and racked his brain for an excuse before shrugging in a way that he hoped was casual. “I’ve never seen the Prefect’s Bathroom before, someone told me there was a swimming pool in there.”

Remus raised an eyebrow and sighed. “I suppose it can’t hurt anything if you do. Just—don’t touch anything without asking first, okay?”

Sirius nodded eagerly before following a thoroughly confused Remus through the door. 

This day just kept getting weirder. 


	2. Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I meant to update this sooner, but things have been more than a bit chaotic (and unfortunately, not in the fun way) around here, and I haven't been able to get back around to this one. 
> 
> But I did today, so now you get round two of Sirius and Remus being idiots, but us loving them for it all the same.

**MONDAY**

* * *

The next day, Remus woke up to Sirius sitting on the edge of his bed and the younger boy nearly hit his head on the headboard in his rush to scramble backwards. Sirius chuckled quietly. 

“How are you feeling?” Sirius asked, and Remus adopted a quizzical expression.

“Fine, I guess?” he responded tentatively, not sure why Sirius was asking. The boy in question provided that answer quickly enough, to Remus’ relief.

“You were really stiff yesterday, and I remembered you saying that your socks and shoes got all wet when we went to Hogsmeade. Just wanted to make sure you hadn’t fallen ill or something,” Sirius said with a gentle smile, and Remus immediately relaxed into his blanket.

“Oh. I’m alright there, I think. Although I suppose I won’t know if anything’s happened until later, usually takes a full day for cold symptoms to show up in me,” he said before coughing into his hand, causing Sirius’ eyes to widen. “Relax, just clearing my throat.”

“Fantastic, wouldn’t want all of that Charms work we did yesterday to go to waste,” Sirius said with a smirk as he hopped off of Remus’ bed. “I used my nicest handwriting and everything.” Remus chuckled and sat up properly. As he moved towards the bathroom to shower and get ready, he noticed Sirius following him with his eyes.

“Everything good, Pads?” Remus asked as he pulled off his shirt, a move which made the dark-haired boy blush furiously and avert his eyes.

“Um, yeah, all good…” Sirius trailed off hesitantly. Remus raised an eyebrow at his friend but continued with the rest of his morning routine from the bathroom, Sirius following him a few moments later still refusing to make eye contact. 

By the time they got to breakfast, Remus was sure something was up with his friend. Sirius had continued to avoid eye contact through their morning routines, and Remus wasn’t sure he’d ever been more thrown off by Sirius’ seemingly sudden need for physical contact. The older boy had gone through phases of wanting to be near to the other boys on occasion, usually when he’d returned from his parents’ place and was looking for confirmation that they actually wanted him around. None of them begrudged him that, especially not Remus—who, despite his willingness to acquiesce, always felt mildly guilty at the fact that he wished it would be a more normal occurrence for the two of them.

But Sirius wasn’t shy about wanting to be held after nightmares either. Or at least, he wasn’t with Remus. The younger boy had been woken up by Sirius’ whimpers on enough nights to have gotten used to the smell of Sirius’ hair on his pillow; the feeling of Sirius curling up against him; the way his friend relaxed once Remus gently laid his arm over Sirius’ body and pulled him closer. But he always woke up alone in the mornings, and Sirius never mentioned it in the daytime, which Remus took to be a silent plea not to speak about their nighttime rendezvous. 

This was a whole different level of contact though. Sirius’ normal was leaning against Remus’ shoulder in the dying light of the common room’s fireplace, or curling into Remus nervously after shocking himself awake—subtle things, gentle ones—this was the opposite. Sirius’ hand brushed Remus’ no fewer than twelve times on the walk from their dorm to the Great Hall, and when they sat down, Remus was confused to see Sirius leave no space between them on the bench. He looked over questioningly, but Sirius seemed to have paid no mind to it, already reaching for the eggs in the middle of the table. 

A moment later, though, Remus found Sirius’ hand clenched tightly around his wrist as he reached for the tea bags. 

“Sirius, what the  _ fuck?”  _ Remus ground out, finding Sirius’ antics more than a bit annoying by this point. Sirius met his eyes for the first time since the two were upstairs, a sheepish grin on his face. 

“Sorry, Moony. You were about to knock over the cream,” he gestured below Remus’ sleeve with his free hand, and Remus noticed that there  _ was  _ a jug of cream there, although he could’ve sworn it was across the table the last he’d seen it.

“Oh. Well. Thanks, then, I suppose.” Sirius’ somewhat shy smile grew into a confident one at Remus’ comment.

“Anything for my favorite tea-lover,” Sirius said with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Remus rolled his eyes and looked away only to notice that Sirius was still holding his wrist. Not that Remus minded it, certainly not, but he  _ did  _ need to finish eating his breakfast before he could head off to Charms. 

“Um, Pads,” Remus began, looking pointedly at the hand of Sirius’ that was still holding his wrist. “D’you think I could get my hand back so I can keep eating, or…?” He trailed off, amused by the flush that spread across Sirius’ face when  _ he _ realized that his hand was still wrapped around Remus’ arm. Sirius released Remus’ wrist almost immediately, and directed his gaze back at his plate with a solemn focus. 

“Yeah, sorry—wasn’t paying attention there,” Sirius stammered out, and Remus turned to stare at his friend. He hadn’t seen Sirius this nervous around him since...well, possibly ever. The closest he’d ever come to this level of awkwardness was when he’d cornered Remus to tell them that they’d all become animagi, and even then there had been a subtle pride underlying the nervous expression. This was different, somehow. Softer. It worried Remus. 

“Are you  sure you’re alright?  _ You  _ didn’t manage to get a cold from yesterday did you? Are you running a fever?” Remus threw the questions out so quickly that Sirius barely had a moment to respond before the back of Remus’ palm was flush against his forehead, and then his cheek. Sirius’ face colored so quickly that Remus would’ve believed that he had a fever were it not for the cool skin that he felt beneath his hands. 

“You don’t feel warm to me, but I always run hot.  _ James,”  _ Remus called to the bespectacled boy as he approached the table. “Come feel Sirius for me? Is he too warm?”

When James met Sirius’ gaze, it took an extraordinary level of restraint for him not to laugh. Sirius looked ready to melt under Remus’ attention, and was pleading with his eyes to be rescued from this situation. James couldn’t pass the opportunity up. Placing a hand on Sirius’ forehead, then both hands on his cheeks, he hemmed and hawed dramatically for a moment before shaking his head. 

“Nah, he’s fine, just a bit red. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s just got a  _ crush,”  _ James said with a wink before dodging Sirius’ ‘accidental’ kick of his leg. He was so focused on avoiding Sirius’ subtle attempts at revenge that he nearly missed Remus’ muttered “That’s what I’m worried about,” as the boy stood up. 

Luckily for him, Sirius’ head whipped around at the statement, and he stood up to follow Remus to their Charms classroom, giving James a perfect view of every time their shoulders brushed. He smiled to himself, wondering how long it would take the two of them to realize their feelings for each other. 

——————————————————— 

It’d been exactly one day of being on high alert for any sort of potentially embarrassing behavior from Remus, and Sirius was exhausted. The constant attention to Remus’ movements had made Sirius antsy all day, an issue he resolved by being just a  _ tad  _ more tactile than usual—grabbing Remus’ hand when he reached for food, nudging his knee constantly during class, pulling Remus into the group’s hugs first, and keeping him there the longest. 

But now it was nearly midnight, and three of the marauders were up in the astronomy tower, where they were  _ supposed _ to be learning about charting the movement of planets. Sirius wasn’t exactly averse to the topic, but with a family full of astronomically-inspired names he didn’t feel as if he was encountering any particularly novel information as their waif-like professor instructed them to “search the heavens!” and “scour the stars!” 

Peter had elected to take classes that “wouldn’t require him to lose out on prime sleeping hours, thank you very much,” which had left the other three in a bit of a quandary when it came to pairing up for telescopes. Until Lily Evans walked through the door, at which point Sirius and Remus selected a telescope and chuckled as they watched their friend convince the red headed girl to partner with him. 

Shockingly, this arrangement had been rather amicable up until this point; James didn’t want to face Lily’s ire if her grade dropped and had refrained from exacting mischief on his fellow classmates, leaving Remus and Sirius to do so instead. Sirius, knowing how much Remus valued his education, wouldn’t dare to chance things either. Which is how the four usually ended up sitting comfortably against the wall once their assignments were completed, talking about all manners of things until the class was over and they were permitted to leave. 

But Sirius had been keeping a wary eye on Remus all day and hadn’t seen anything concerning since the ordeal at breakfast. If Remus kept that sort of nonsense up, Sirius wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to keep a level head about him before he’d just pull his friend into a hug...and then snog him senseless. He shook his head sleepily to rid his mind of that thought. Their classes had been decent, other than Sirius being a bit  _ too  _ eager to correct Remus’ wand movement during the practical portion of their Charms class—an action that he stood by, Remus’  _ accio _ had been far more focused once Sirius helped guide his wand hand. 

Herbology had been a whole different ballgame; Sirius suspected that Professor Sprout had gone on an ‘exciting weekend bender,’ a fact that he whispered to Remus slyly after she’d merely asked the twelve students in her upper-level lesson to spend class repotting mandrakes before making her way back to her office. Remus’ face had colored, and Sirius could tell he was holding back a smile as he held out a pair of earmuffs and gloves for Sirius to put on. Unfortunately—or perhaps  _ fortunately,  _ when Sirius considered all the details— earmuffs and wailing plants didn’t a romance make, but there were plenty of excuses for innocent touches between them both and Sirius’ attention was honed in on Remus’ motions in the event the boy decided to publicly declare his love in front of the class. To Sirius’ relief, he didn’t, but that didn’t mean the thought of it happening hadn’t been dominating his thoughts all day. He leaned back against the wall gently, careful not to smudge the wet ink on his chart. He only had a quadrant left to fill in, but if he closed his eyes for just a minute, he could still finish the assignment before Philemia came around to collect it. Just one minute, then...

——————————————————— 

Sirius was exhausted, an obvious fact to anyone paying attention. Remus had shot him multiple concerned glances throughout the class—when Sirius had taken a turn on the telescope, when he’d begun marking down the planets and his hand scratched off the side of the parchment tiredly, when Professor Philemia smacked him upside the head with her chart for nodding off during class time—as he watched the boy grow progressively drowsier and eventually fall asleep leaning against the wall of the tower. Remus tried to get James’ attention, but apparently  _ tonight _ was the night that Lily finally decided to give in to his charms, as the two were giggling and shaking their heads from their station.

Remus sighed and looked over at Sirius’ chart. It was nearly done, but Sirius seemed to have lost focus around the last quadrant, as it lay bare of any annotations or drawings. Glancing down at his own chart, up to locate the Professor, and then back down at his sleeping friend, Remus quickly switched their charts, pulling Sirius’ unfinished one onto his lap and examining exactly how much was left. Luckily, it was the section that Remus had just completed, and as he feigned leaning his eye against the telescope to spot the planetary location above him, Remus instead moved his glance to his own chart in Sirius’ lap to copy over the information. 

This routine proceeded for the next ten minutes, with Remus completing Sirius’ chart just as Professor Philemia began walking around and collecting their assignments. Remus nudged Sirius gently as he switched their charts back, and motioned his head at the approaching Professor when Sirius looked at him in a state of sleepy confusion. Sirius nodded absently and rolled his parchment up before leaning his head against Remus’ shoulder and placing his chart in Remus’ lap. Remus’ eyes grew wide, but he handed their assignments up to his Professor, who was shooting an unimpressed look at Sirius. 

“Do make sure he makes it to his dorm, Mr. Lupin—and perhaps remind him that he was given one to sleep in. Merlin knows what he’s doing in there that has him falling asleep during my class, but I won’t tolerate this sort of disrespect again.”

Remus nodded stiffly and tried to shift his shoulder to get Sirius up and moving, but Sirius groaned quietly and nuzzled into Remus’ neck. Remus chuckled for a moment before freezing—Sirius wasn’t supposed to be doing that, not here, not in front of people. He would never be that public about physical touch, even if he was itching to be leaned upon or held tightly. No, this wasn’t right. Something was  _ definitely  _ up with Sirius, and Remus was going to figure it out if it was the last thing he did.

But first, to get a sleepy Sirius Black back to the Gryffindor dorms. 


End file.
